Wud??

Feathers are light,
The Sun produces light,
Therefore, the Sun gives out feathers

I am perfect
I'm perfect
Imperfect

If vegetarians eat vegetables,
What do Humanitarians eat?

Why do we send cargo by ship, and shipments by car?

Why do kamikazee pilots wear helmets?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs?

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you

Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

Do fish get cramps after eating?

I couldn't repair my brakes, so I made the horn louder.

What happens if you get scared half-to-death twice?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes"?

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress? Congress!

War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?